"The Mom Factor" (Recap #1)

"You know we would love to see you .. but this vacation we really wanted to see the Grand Canyon"

Mother trouble: The fact is, most people desire a comfortable, mutually satisfying friendship with that very significant person in our life - our mother. But the reality falls short of the ideal.

• unable to communicate with her
• her lack of respect for your choices and values
• her refusal to accept your own family and friends
• a lack of freedom to have a separate life without losing her love
• disconnected from her and misunderstood by her
• difficulty in saying no and confronting her
• you have to hide your real self and be perfect
• responsible to make her think that she is perfect
• guilt when you don't take care of her as she wants you to
• disillusionment and conflict over her interactions with your spouse
• guilt over not living up to her expectations and wishes
• sorrow that she can't seem to understand your pain
• childlike in her presence
• frustration in her seemingly self-absorption
• like cringing when she treats your children in familiar hurtful ways
• discouraged that this list is so long

Basically, not only does the quality of your relationship with your mother dictate how things go between the two of you, it also drastically impacts all areas of your life.
This factors into our "Emotional IQ" that determines how successful we might be at love or work.
Two realities determine our emotional development:

1. How we were mothered
2. How we have responded to that mothering

This book called "The Mom Factor"can help people discover how to:

• Transform the effects of the past
• Say "No" to your mom without feeling guilty
• Build a healthy relationship with your mom
• Improve all your relationships

Authored by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend (authors of "Boundaries"), this book unpacks six "mom types" in a chapter that describes the problem and the needs that may not have been met followed by a chapter on steps to meet those unmet needs and repairing whatever was broken.

• Phantom Mom
• China Doll Mom
• Controlling Mom
• Trophy Mom
• Still-The-Boss Mom
• American Express Mom

This book outlines steps toward forgiveness and if possible, reconciliation. Much latitude is give to those who face abusive mothers where distance and boundaries is essential to protect one's self and his/er own family.
Essentially, God gave us mothers to protect, nurture and mature you. She takes on part of His loving nature in this role. However, bring a very broken world, "mom" also can mean conflicts or problems.
This is not a negative book as it does seek to "honor your mother and your father" but it also encourages us to tell the truth, be honest, take responsibility, heal, forgive and grieve at the same time.
These snippets or recaps can serve as a bridge to those who might want to venture into these waters at some point in the future. I as well as the authors hope you learn some things about yourself, mom and God in the reading about this book.