Out of 65 million that used to attend (over the course of the last two decades) and have exited being a part of the Sunday event(s), HOWEVER, it is interesting that 31 million of these still identify as Christian according to the sociologists Josh Packard and Ashleigh Hope in his book "Church Refugees"(2015). He labeled this last group the "Dones". These people have given up on the idea that the local organized congregation is still relevant to their journey with Jesus.
The writer has been in both camps, at one time he pastored a large organized church (three actually I believe) but for the last 20 years he has been outside, no longer participating in the Sunday (or Saturday) services. He has a heart for the people in both places and desires a conversation can be had to help the rift between Jesus followers to be closed up .. that they each see that as this world seems to get more crazy by the day that there would be people who could love those that are giving up hope. These people can be from those that go to a specific building at 10AM on Sundays or not.
What scares the 10AM Sunday attenders and the church staffs across this nation is that the secret is out. You don't have to be committed to a local congregation to live out a transforming relationship with Jesus OR to experience the wonders of Christian fellowship .. and those with a vested (i.e. monitzed) interest in keeping this a secret are rattled.
The 2015 book Church Refugees revealed WHY people are DONE with church BUT NOT their faith. When these "Dones" were interviewed it turned out that they are high-capacity people who were deeply involved in their fellowships until those environments became stifling to their journey. For years (not months, weeks or days) they struggled to help reform these environments, but their efforts were stopped by a bureaucracy that resisted change. Out of an effort to survive, they opted for the desert, or so they thought. Many found others who had done the same thing and started to think maybe they were NOT nuts. I call this "gratefully disillusioned" :)
Dr. Packard is a Christian, and an attender to the 10AM Sunday event and was hoping to help keep these high capacity people from leaving and wanting to attract the ones that were already gone back. However, it seems the typical reaction is to marginalize those who left and openly doubt that their salvation is intact by not being in a certain building on Sunday mornings.
Those that left have chosen community over judgement, mission over machinery, rich conversation over pat answers and meaningful engagement with the world beyond moral prescriptions. They aim to touch the world that is increasingly beyond Sunday morning systems.
Just like those in the military can't see reality until they are out of the service and realized they have been USED by politicians and subsequently abused by government health systems that will not allow them the Rx needed (marijuana) to recover from their wounds, mental ones (PTSD) as a result of their immoral actions that they were given orders to accomplish. The same goes for those still in the 10AM Sunday event can't come to grips with the fact that the church in Scripture was never a religious institution with weekend services and top-heavy bureaucracies. The church described in the New Testament was a FAMILY that Jesus built on earth that can't be managed or controlled by human organization.
It appears that 42% of these so-called "Dones" were worn out by the machinery and the need to serve IT. These people did not dis others in the congregation, just that their busyness displaced their passion for ongoing development of their relationship with Jesus .. and that scared them.
Most of the "Dones" find that it may take a year or two to find themselves again connecting to others, and find themselves enjoying the lack of having to plan meetings and maintain structures.
These people have not really given up on "church" (ekklesia), just that they are looking for a more authentic expression of this family. Weeks and years of sermons tickle the intellect but rarely touch the heart.
The heart breaker are those that don't even consider themselves Christians anymore ... that they left never knowing a God worth loving. Despite all the meetings they attended, prayers they offered and good deeds they did they never came face-to-face with the most endearing Presence in the universe .. in the end, the church and its activities were the god they knew, and missed the real One.
The fact is that Jesus did not start an institution, or a religion but came to reveal to us what it would be like to live in Father's reality, how His love would change us in time and how our loving others would impact this world the most. The Apostle Paul did NOT want to win people with "wise and persuasive words" .. as he new that God touches hearts.
In time, in the rearview mirror one will realize that religious obligation is a conformity based system that operates by fear and manipulation (which is why it CAN'T promote the love of God growing in your heart. Also, one will be able to separate the failures of religion and religious leaders from the reality of God .. Jesus did this too by pointing out the Pharisee's had God all wrong. Eventually, hopefully, you will begin to see that religion gives us a distorted image of God, an angry tyrant that wants to rule the world through terror when in fact He is a gracious Father who loves YOU more than anyone else on this world, even though you may not sense that. You can ask Him the hardest questions, all the whys and why-nots, with tears and even silence .. and in the quiet you might hear him. Ask Him to reveal His heart to you ... THAT is His hope as He is the perfect gentleman, who with no agenda will respect your space and wait for you to reach out.
Remember, Paul the apostle encouraged us to live in FREEDOM and let NO ONE defraud us by telling us where we should go, what we should eat or what we should wear!
Also, know that when you read the Bible, we tend to read the reality of today back into Paul's day. For example, when you hear the word worship you think Paul was referring to the songs and prayers used to start a service OR teaching as a lecture to a room of passive listeners OR elders who are business leaders who make corporate financial decisions OR pastors who tend to carve out their own niche in the religious market for their own income. Nothing couild be further from the truth in Paul's day. For the most part, the new believers comprised informal networks of those who gathered around specific households .. no pews, no stage production, no one teacher .. BUT a "place" that was described as a "we" and not an "it". WE gathered as FAMILY .. and it was not only on Sundays (especially since it was a work day in Paul's time) but whenever they had the opportunity.
It only took a generation for these communities began to take on an institutional edge and people were encouraged to follow IT instead of Jesus. By 300 years after Jesus left it had morphed to be:
If you don't attend out meetings, participate in our rituals, join our membership or sign our covenant, you are EXCLUDED from Christ and his salvation. Remember, the only way to guarantee the future of a corporation is to make people dependent on it by making it mandatory for salvation.
The litmus test of if we belong to Jesus or not is NOT our attendance at a weekly meeting BUT by HIS character taking shape in us AND how we love those around us. You follow Jesus, not by living up to the expectations of those who set themselves up as leaders, but by actually following Jesus!
Our faith was meant to be an adventure of waking up to Him each day asking Him to guide us to where His heart leads us. It is just to be a daily walk, dialog, journey .. nothing hokus pokus .. just on a journey with Papa. In time you will know that worship is a daily thing as we see His leading and His love .. and teaching happens in conversations .. and elders are wise people who would never take on a title.
Toward the end you will see chapter 9 having to do with "Seven Markers to Help You When You're Done":
- Take your time
- Don't force your journey on others
- Lose your need to be validated by others
- Learn the beauty and rhythms of love
- Watch your trust in Him grow
- Cultivate friendships with others
- Let God expand your view of church
Finally, love does not press, it entreats, it cares for someone, looking for conversation that may bring light WHEN people are ready.
An enlightening chapter for me was Chapter 17, "The Pitfalls of Monetizing Ministry". While I did not highlight much in this chapter (probably because I will go back and re-read it), I knew where it was headed as it was the same thing I struggled with upon getting a BS degree in Ministry and Leadership .. how could I ask the very people I was encouraging to support me monetarily .. even the Apostle Paul saw that trap and avoided it by remaining a tent-maker during his travels. He did not want his relationship with the people he was in conversation with to be twisted and made dysfunctional by having a financial component to it. True friends don't do that.
Another chapter, 19, "Full Time Ministry" explains the actually time spend managing people, fund raising and program planning needed to keep the machinery running and how complicated it can get when other egos are involved. The truth is that His kingdom values obscurity over notoriety, serving others over being served, small and flexible over large and rigid and following His leading whatever it risks INSTEAD of making the best business decision.
So it's not about changing the system, it's letting God change you .. having a heart for what is true. Truth without love destroys people .. so love is most important (I mean, Jesus said that) Real love will never ignore the truth .. so the challenge is, can we become more like Jesus so that when we speak truth to someone, they actually see love and are not afraid. Sometimes this worked for Jesus (the woman at the well), sometimes it didn't (the Pharisees). But He loved them all.
So how are you doing? Do you calue people, not for what you get from them? Do you live with integrity? Do you refuse to fix others? DO you learn not to take offense? Have you lost the need to compete? Do you make yourself available for new friendships?
A challenging book for sure .. so your mileage may vary.
I am thinking in a month or so I will have to read it one more time .. it is that good.
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